I love you and miss you honey. I have been reading some today and I am learning that even in our darkest hour God is with us and when we trust in him and pray he gives us the wisdom and strength to deal with anything. I always thought if anything ever happened to one of my children I would have to be locked up somewhere in a asylum because I would certainly lose my sanity. God is teaching me that prayer has to become my focal point daily. I close my eyes and I can feel that I am in Gods presence (Ps. 46:10) "Be still, and know that I am God" Praying helps to strengthen us and helps us face the challenges of the day. Granted some days I feel like I still could lose my sanity, but then I pray for strength and understanding. God continues to give me strength and hope for the future and also the understanding that I have family and friends who I need and who need me. God is showing me that there is a reason to be strong and carry on to be with them in body and mind. I am thankful to God for showing me that there is light at the end of the tunnel even when we experience the unimaginable. I also keep going back to the fact that I know Chris would not want to see me so sad everyday. I remember how he had a way of cheering me up when I was down just by saying something funny or acting silly. I feel the hardest part besides missing him is having to wake up everyday and realize he's really gone when it's so hard to believe. I ask all the same questions that anyone does when they lose someone they love such as, why did this happen to me? what have I done to deserve this? but then I have to realize that everything that happens is not about me. Although I can't possibly understand why horrible things like this have to happen, but as hard as it is God does show us that we can take things from it to better our own lives. I feel the most important thing I've learned is to lean on God and love with all I have and be really quick to forgive people because life is so short. Dear Lord please watch over our family and friends and keep them all safe. I love you and praise you Amen I will talk to you again tomorrow Chris I love you and miss you more than words can ever say. Night night (((HUGS))) xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo
Love, Mama
Love, Mama