I love you sweetie and miss you more than anything. I think of you almost constantly and I'm still struggling with the harsh reality that your gone and I couldn't do anything to help you. I know I have to stop feeling guilty considering it is quite clear that I am not the one in control here, because if I were this would never have happened in the first place. It is so hard to read what I just wrote considering that I know the love of God and he is the one who has the control. I also know that he loves me and wouldn't want me or anyone to suffer with this kind of pain if there was no point to it. The way is becoming clearer by the minute because he is revealing to me how important it is for me to put my faith in him and not try to lean on my own understanding. God is showing me that the pain and suffering we are enduring in this life through our losses, he will be rewarding us not only with the reunion of all our loved ones in heaven but also with a never ending joy and happiness free from pain, suffering and sorrow. Proverbs 3:5 Trust in the Lord with all your heart, lean not on your own understanding; In all your ways acknowledge him and he will direct your paths I thank you Lord for loving me so much that you are enabling me to look beyond the pain into the future you have in store for all of us who love you. I will keep going back to the book of life to find the answers until the end of my journey here on this earth because the hope I have in you carries me through each new day. Dear Lord please use me in every way possible as you deem necessary in order to fulfill your purpose for my existence. If there is any way I can make a difference by helping to lessen somebody's load in this life please put me in the right place at the right time Lord. Please watch over our family and friends and keep them all safe. I love you Lord and I will always praise your name. Amen I love you my sweet son and the hope God gives me will see me through this life into the next until I see your smiling face again. I'll talk to you again tomorrow. Night night (((HUGS))) xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox
Love, Mama
Love, Mama